Equality for everyone

Equality is a wider term than one would think. It implies equal respect and status to all the living in all the phases of life, whether at home or at the office or on the streets, irrespective of their gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, skin color or ethnicity.

Now, we hear almost every day how people are being promoted or given raise or recruited to a job just because they belong to a particular race (or cast) or are from the same state/city. How people are being assaulted or jailed or worst killed because they are black (latest from American news). How Indians are being killed across the border (violating LOC laws) because they are from a different religion (latest from Indian news). How women are being treated as third class citizens even in this 21st century and if they happen to be black then the conditions are even worse. How LGBTQ community is still struggling for recognition. It’s disrespectful and inhumane. What I don’t understand is how are we, humans, instead of evolving into more intelligent and tolerable human beings, drastically sliding down the slope of humanity? The crimes against humanity are increasing in frequency day by day. It’s horribly shocking.

I mean did we learn nothing from the history? That violence in any form or at any level is catastrophic. Initially, to the individuals who are under its direct influence and then while spreading to a larger scale, violence becomes genocide. It’s never been beneficial, not to a person or nation or religion, to none at all. All that violence has brought us is increased violence with a lot more blood and pain. Be it domestic violence or street violence or violence at the nation’s borders.

The only way we stand united is if we have the same social status as enjoyed by the privileged people. What those privileged need to understand is that we(the general workforce) together are many more in count compared to them and if we don’t get what we deserve (which is respect) than they will not have what they hold so dear(money and the luxury it buys them). Now, those people will say- bring it on. But beware, if we stop working even for a week, it’s them who are going to lose much more than we will. Just for instance- if all of the women decide not to participate in their normal, regular routines for a week’s time, then the world of men will start trembling and eventually crumble, and they will beg for the women to come back. And the worst would be if women decide to live among themselves till the time men officially and personally declare and prove that they will respect women at all times and places.

Now, I know that some men might be thinking that they know women and that women can’t survive together, they will rather kill each other with jealousy and hate instead of living together. But it is not so at all. We have grown, unlike men of course. We seek each other’s support rather than “conspiring” against each other. So, now I wonder what will the “socially privileged” men do? Will they test their false assumptions to risk it all? or Would they admit to giving us what we deserve, their respect?

Equality for everyone whether social, economic or at the workplace or at every other possible places or under different scenarios or situations irrespective of their gender, sexual orientation, race, religion, skin color is a very important tool and maybe the only tool necessary for the world’s survival against the raging war among the genders and LGBTQ.

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Why gender-based treatment?

Why are women treated differently than men? Let’s try to find out, shall we?

Is it because they are beautiful? And so maybe, in order to conserve their beauty, people tend to keep them inside the boundaries of the house and/or bonded with so many rules and regulations. But if it were so(that beauty should be confined so that it doesn’t get tainted/ stained), then Taj Mahal won’t be open for all of us to see and admire its existence. I know, I know there’s a difference between inanimate (things) and living. But beauty is a form of “God’s magical touch” and so should be allowed to spread its light as far as possible, be it a mountain scenery or river or animals or humans. Beauty in any form acts as an inspiration to everyone in its surroundings. It’s a pleasant surprise for the sore eyes and sunken hearts. So, instead of confining women with rules, they should be allowed, just like men, to go places as and when they please.

Or is it because they are physically not as strong as men? Compared to the men of the same age, women are physically less strong. So maybe, people treat them as the weaker sex. But this no viable reason for them to be treated differently under all the circumstances. Its biology, there’s nothing one can possibly do anything about it. It is the way it is.

Or is it because they are emotionally stronger than men? And thus people tend to treat women more as a support system when they are feeling emotionally low for the uplifting of their own spirits. And so, people keep them nearby so that women are always there to calm them down. But this is not right either. Women have emotional needs too. But they never cage men so that “the men are always there for them”, do they?

Or is it because they are more practical than men? Women can almost always make practical decisions no matter what emotional situation/circumstances they are in the middle of. So, it’s understandable if men require women to make decisions for them(men) sometimes. But that does not give them the right to treat women differently either.

Or is it because they are capable of producing life(give birth to children)? But, this is something that should give women a better social status in the society than the current one(where women are being treated like trash). Instead, some people treat women as a mere oven, (yes, you read it correctly, the womb of a mother as an oven) where the baby/child is supposed to rest till it comes out of the birthing mother. This is the way people treat women as if the only purpose of her life is to give birth to the kid(s) and nothing more. (Now, calling her an oven signifies that she is being treated as a thing because only “things” have specific functions while humans have feelings, emotions, and can feel pain, sorrow, happiness.)

Whatever be the excuse for people to treat us, women, differently, they know it and so do we that it is not going to stand any ground for much longer. We, women, will no longer be treated as things. We will take what is ours with ease or force, whatever it takes. We will no longer be the prisoners behind the social bars, built with millions of norms/rules for holding us back. We have already started to break free, and soon enough there will be none left behind those social bars.

#No more will the people/society decide women’s fate.

Happy Navratri 2018

Happy Navratri to you all!!!

A celebration that lasts for (approx.) 9 days. This time it has fallen on 10th October and will go on till 18th October 2018.

Navratri is a nine nights (and ten days) Hindu festival, celebrated in the autumn every year. In the eastern and northeastern states of India, the Durga Puja is synonymous with Navratri, wherein goddess Durga battles and emerges victorious over the buffalo demon to help restore Dharmam. In the northern and western states, the festival is synonymous with “Rama Lila” and Dussehra that celebrates the battle and victory of god Rama over the demon king Ravana. In southern states, the victory of different goddesses, of Rama or Saraswati is celebrated. In all cases, the common theme is the battle and victory of Good over Evil based on a regionally famous epic or legends such as the Ramayana or the Devi Mahatmya. (Source- Wikipedia)

No means NO, you punks

Even educated men tend to participate in assaulting or molesting women, even in rapes. The question is- Why? I mean how is that possible? I am educated. I don’t tend to exploit men or anyone else for that matter. Then why do men exploit women sexually?

See, if you are thinking that it’s about having physical power over the other gender, then it’s not true. It does play a part in men’s favor, but that’s all there is to it. The actual reason why men, even educated men of today participate in women’s physical and sexual exploitation is that no one ever taught them-

first, we should respect our fellow humans,

second prior to the first, without the explicit consent of a person (say, a woman), you should never participate in any sort of sexual activity with them, and

lastly, and this is very important- no means no.

The above mentioned, let’s call them ‘lessons important for a person’s character building’ need to be taught explicitly, obviously. Because so far we used to think that these are the basic lessons of life and no one needs to shout them out loudly in men’s ear especially, for them to hear and know that they exist, and are not meant to be ignored.

But it’s never too late and so I believe that we need to make sure that we teach these lessons to our brothers, fathers, male friends, husbands/boyfriends, male colleagues and most importantly to our kids, especially who have reached puberty.

Because I, we, women would not accept that the rapist or the molester didn’t know that these lessons(or say rules) exist which are very similar to laws, on the breaking of which they are to be imprisoned and punished severely.

Besides, people need to learn self-control and to respect females(as humans). It’s the need of the hour for us, all of the mankind, to impart these lessons(explicitly) to our surroundings as well. Again, everyone needs to be aware of these lessons, be an old man or woman, or a 16-year-old. No one is an exception whether rich or poor or old or young or educated or not.

It’s also necessary that people understand that when rapists say that their victim was out in the dark of the night or was wearing something that appeared to them as fleshy and so, in their small minds this was like an invitation to them. This statement only means that the person is not at all educated, even if they went to school and graduated from MIT. It also implies that we, as a society, have failed to impart the basic life lessons to our fellow “people”. And so, we need to start from this very second to teach whosoever we can find all of these important life lessons, again no exceptions.

#RESPECT females

Problem is men’s ego and the solution is women’s self-respect

Every time I read about rape in the news, or watch movies where the tragedies faced by women are depicted, I get all riled up. Earlier I used to think that the problem is- we are not being educated about our moral responsibilities towards each other as human beings. But lately, I have been observing that men just don’t care. Irrespective of what section of the society they belong to, they are just unbelievably monstrous when it comes to treating the women equally as humans. Even the most educated ones are no different.

For women- as long as you don’t open your mouth to speak out your opinion, you are going to be just fine. But dare you show the slightest of signs that you disagree with them(men) and all hell breaks loose on you. Now, it’s clear that the problem is with men and their superficial ego. Though the solution still lies in our own hands, women.

We need to take it upon ourselves to teach our families and friends about respect. Starting with ourselves first of course. We need to learn to love ourselves the most so that we place ourselves on the top of our mental list of the people that we admire and care about the most in this world. The day we will start respecting ourselves will be the day when we will have taken a step closer to achieving what we all desire- equal respect and status.

For a change, we need to put our needs first. For those who find it selfish, I will rephrase it for you. If we are not healthy and happy then neither is anyone else around us. If we don’t have a voice then our children will also be mute and will not fight when it matters, which we all know is bad for anyone who wants to live in this world and not just breathe. The world spits out and crushes those who can’t take a stand for themselves and that is not something we want for our siblings or (future)kids to be, do we?

So, respect and love yourself and start placing your needs alongside your loved ones, if not above them. And only then we will automatically stop tolerating any misbehavior or disrespectful behavior from anyone at all(this includes all, our sisters, brothers, kids, husbands, parents, friends, and fellow humans).

If we will be strong, so will be our families and especially our kids. We must put a good example in front of them, someone who they can admire and learn from about what should matter in life and how should one take a stand for themselves in this world in order to be successful. Now, who can be better for this job other than the parents, especially the mother? None. Because mothers have a more close connection with their kids as compared to their fathers (empathy).

Let’s be the role model that our kids deserve. Now, the process might take time, for instance, a few months, but the change it will bring to our lives and in the lives of all the people we love, is worth it. Long gone are the days when we would take whatever the world threw at us. No more. It stops now. We will make people respect us because that is what we deserve and have done nothing to deserve otherwise.

Take a stand against domestic violence

When a man and a woman get married, they are supposed to protect and care for each other and not beat up one another. Take for instance- domestic violence. Where a man or his parental family members beat up his wife inside the four walls of their house that they call home.

Once you are married, the only person standing between you and the aggressor is you. The very first time when you were about to be hit, if you didn’t try to stop and fight back then chances are the aggressor will strike you down again, and again. Now, if you are alive then here is your chance. Take a stand for yourself today. As long as there is breath in your lungs, it’s never too late to make amendments. But you have to be willing and determined to take action. After all, enough is enough. You already have given a little too many chances to your aggressor to not hit you again. That’s it. No more.

Now, you should first try to stop the attack and fight back. Second, go to the hospital, get yourself fixed up and then go to the police station to file an FIR. Third, pack up your bags, take the kids (if any, because such a violent environment is no good for kids) and leave the house. The fourth step is optional, which is you can either decide to divorce and start anew or you can stay separated for the rest of your life. It’s completely up to you. There’s no reason why you can’t be happy with or without a man in your life.

Now the foremost important thing is for the women to find out the reason why? why didn’t we put a stop to the aggressor the very first time they(aggressor) attacked? It could be because we thought it was just a one-time thing and won’t happen again. Tip- it hardly ever happens that a calm person would start hurting anyone at all, even on their worst days. So, when you start noticing a drastic change in someone’s behavior, take caution and be prepared.

Or maybe, for every next time the aggressor attacked, we thought that ‘today is the last time’. Because we still had to have faith in our husbands for the sake of our lives together, especially for the kids. Since no kid should have to grow without a father figure in their lives. Tip- twice is always an indication of too many to be followed. So, never let the count grow to a third(3).

Or it could be because we thought that if we complain, our house affairs will become open for public ridicule. Tip- do not worry about what others/the society will say. It is none of their business. Worry about who will you see in the mirror reflected back at you- a loser or a fighter? Or worry about what will your kids think about you when they will learn that you never tried to fight back? Always remember you are either the heroine of your life or villain. It’s in your own hands. Choose wisely.

Or maybe, we thought that if we leave our husbands after so many years of marriage, what would that say about us? Or the shame it will bring to our families? Tip- these are all excuses that you made up. Maybe because you are exhausted and have no energy left to take a stand or you have become addicted to the pain. Either way, nothing is worse than allowing someone to commit a crime right in front of our eyes. And if you didn’t act to stop it right there, then that would mean you are guilty of that crime too. Now, I am not saying that the women are guilty of not taking any action against the aggressor. But do you realize now that this is probably the reason why the aggressor kept coming back to suppress you or act out their anger at you?

Violence in any form, on any scale, is WRONG. If we all were to get violent every time we are angry then there will be no peace and bloodshed will cover the four walls of each house in this world. So, let’s all try to keep cool and calm for most of the time that we are awake, be a man or a woman. And teach the same to our kids.

Adultery decriminalized in India. Right decision or not?

With whom a person sleeps is no business of the law. So, decriminalizing homosexual activities did make sense. And I congratulate all the members of LGBTQ community for that judgment being made in their favor.

The law has struck again and this time adultery has been decriminalized (in India). Is it a good thing or not, let’s find out. Adultery is wrong and does need to be punished in some way at the least. Not just because the guilty is cheating on their spouse but because it directly impacts the sanctity of marriage. This is India. Let’s not forget that for us, marriage is the last stop in the journey of those who desire to start a family of their own. But the real question here is- should the power be given to the law or it should exist in the hands of the spouse when it comes to punishing the adulterer?

Since this is the country where women are treated beneath men, this law gives men more power over their housewives who are already being kept under the thumbs by their husbands and families. Stats say that 65% of the women in India are housewives. So one can see how this decriminalization act of adultery can prove to be unfortunate for the women. Now, you may ask why only housewives? The reason is if their husbands leave them for other women then those housewives will have nothing left. On the other hand, working women are at least financially secure.

Definitely, the divorce laws need to be made tighter when filed on the basis of adultery. For instance- take away 75% of all the assets owned by the guilty to give them to the spouse while keeping the context- which spouse earns a living under consideration and the kids if any.

Also, we, women need to toughen up. Remember we always have the power in our own hands to make the right decision that defines our lives and the people’s who are dependent on us.

Just an instance of how badly this law has affected the women. Very recently, a woman committed suicide after confronting her husband about his affair(from news). Now let me be clear- suicide is the cowardly’s way out. Take a stand for yourself. Speak out and if no one is listening to you then adapt and become thick skinned. But take a stand, do not cower. Think about the people who love you and remember that their world would shatter if you are not in it. So, toughen up and raise your voice.

We are not plastic, we are steel while men are iron. And we need to remind ourselves of our value. We are and have always been stronger and brighter and more valuable literally. That’s why a loss of a woman is more damaging to the people who knew and loved her. Never underestimate the power we hold over other people’s lives especially those who are in direct contact with us. So, stop being afraid of them(your husbands) leaving you. It is actually you who, if decides to leave them behind, would paralyze them.

#Women, make sure you are always financially secure, no matter what and/or who are trying to tear your world apart.